I am finally in Bogota, Colombia. When I conjured this dream years ago, this was not supposed to be the time, the place, nor was it the circumstances; but my truth is that, nothing has ever been manifested the way that I anticipated, perceived, or expected. However, it always comes at God’s perfect time, within God’s plan and exactly as he sees fit for me. And for that, I can only be grateful!
It’s been an ethereal ride getting here. The highs and lows, mostly memory now, have not failed to leave their scars well embedded in every part of my consciousness. How do you wipe tears away from the past? How do you rejoice in the joy of today, without remembering the pain of yesterday? I really do not know how to answer that. If we could see where we are going and plan each step according to a vision, an instinct, even an internal drive, would we still not miss some of the subtle picturesque landscapes that makes each step vital to our existence? Besides, I do not even know how to classify the twist, turns, rollercoaster highs, and submerged lows. Can you really say this was not, but this was? Can you ever, in one breath, experience it all and make a conscious determination that what was, is now far better than you had hoped? Pain does not work that way, and joy cannot be a singular road; it is just against universal law.
I have taken the last 20 or so hours here in Bogota to allow my mind to have some peace. My inner motives are still trying to find their conscious direction, but the subtle voice in my head, like a loving taskmaster, keeps reminding me to let time have its way!
It is time, which has brought me here. It is time that rules all discourse. It is time that has shielded and at the same time thrown me into the lion’s den. And, it will be only time that reveals the meaning of its method and the madness of its existence, in relation to my time on this plain.
I have come to love time for its never ending, ever present, ever significance to my arriving here, at this moment on this day, on this page.
Yes, only time will tell.
A long, long time ago, I cannot even remember when, a small internal voice called my name. I must have been lost because I can only gather snippets of that experience now, but I would also have to add that that voice started with a hum in my heart… a sound that grew to a fervor as age and time collapsed into each other.
I was raised by a very powerful soul who endured her own time warp to bring me into this world, and the sweetness of that inspiration must have clearly laid the path of faith for me to hear the calling. How else can one have the courage to endure, the willingness to seek and the faith to persist when seemingly the sound is not constantly heard and yet never silent. She breathed not only life into me … she gave me the power of faith!
Every aspect of every moment is accumulative of this one. I live in the present only because of the past. I move through each moment sometimes with a focus I can’t comprehend, but mostly, I move too quickly to truly grasp its meaning. That is why time is such a factor, and why it is most relevant now. I have come to understand that time is an ally, if given it’s true reverence. Living a life of timelessness is within itself a marking of naked spirituality. Being here nor there is a dualistic approach to life that can be intoxicating and can lure you deep within its aimless winding and empty illusions that are filled with so much fantasy. So much so that it keeps you from your true destination. I did not always think like this.
Perhaps, that is the secret to youth. Is it that apparent endless space of time? But the latter years of my life make it clear; Time is an ally, one to be fully engaged with, one to respect and to revere and one to hold closely to, without letting it slip away.
ALL you have is time! It is the only constant in life that never leaves you. Yet, we never know what to really do with it? Yes, we plan so much of our time and live by its marking sun up, sun down, but do we really know anything about time, other than we are born to it and die from it? What does time have to do with anything, when forward movement is our only option? Is time truly all that matters? Questions that loop are not endless … they require a clearing of thoughts, so that answers can glean new horizons.
Is life just a cycle of time? We plant, we sow, we work, we rest, we remember it as much as we hope for it! And on and on it goes!
We have no time or we have all the time in the world. We grieve it and we rejoice in it! All are passages of time, and yet what an illusion time is.
Time … it is not that I have it or that I must be engaged in it all the time, it is that I have to commit to it and give myself to it freely with purpose, for its function to my benefit. I know this now, far more than I have always claimed. Still … truth is, I know nothing about time, and still it is my master.
There is nothing like having time and recognizing the attention that it deserves!
Time…. is like a conspiracy theory: who really puts the meaning into them? Does the universe really conspire to put one some place at a certain time, or is it all just conjecture? So many times, I have personally asked myself that, as if in doubt! Could it possibly be that time has again selected this moment for me? I want to shrug my shoulders and say who knows? But the fact is, it is I who knows, that for whatever purpose, here I am.
It is at this time that I find myself examining many past inspirations. Moments that all culminated to conspire and create this one. Yet, I never seem to have a clue when it is happening? I still do not know why time takes it time, when I always feel like it’s too late for most and never enough for some to do the things I hold so dear.
As you age in time, facts become harder and harder to deny while truth becomes narrower and narrower to define and still time seems wider and wider to grasp. Even when you are surfing on the coast of what seems like timeless madness, there is a glimmer of a mirage on the horizon. Time never releases you!
Time has revealed many, many things to me, specifically in the last few years. This is why I call it an ally today. Somehow, one day I submitted myself to time. Well, that’s not entirely true! Time seduced me really; by giving me snippets of truth, both, past and present and revealing little tiny secrets along the way.
Snippets… that came in many versions of themselves, with great variety and distinction. They were never clear or concise; they always prompted more questions and the need for more time to fully grasp. That is until today, when Time has asked me to stay and to listen and not try to decipher or perceive. This is when seeking has become no longer an urge based on limited time, for time has conspired to unite all that was, with all that is and, I Am, simply…. along for the ride!
I have come to the conclusion that time is a factor of existence, not relative to truth, but conjoined for the sake of enlightenment and man’s attempt to have it measured!
We created time so that we could fully understand the recorded meaning of our existence.
There is a verse in Chapter 2 of the Bhagavad-Gita, which is said to contain all the truths; our truths, the truth of our existence, that … The Eternal Reality of the Soul’s Immortality is what time conceals!
How does one process this? How can I, sitting in my bed, figure out the time I have left, when this time here … is not the only thing that matters?
How do I truly grasp and comprehend … that all of time is an illusion!
Yes, our bodies will whither and die, time and time again, but was the soul ever born, will it ever die? The ancient’s answer is unequivocally NO!
So, all I have as an answer, to all my many questions is …. I have been here forever! And imagine what statement that is! I mean, you would think I would have gotten it right by now? And yet, here I am asking these questions repeatedly without a final conclusion, without a reasonable explanation, and without even the memory of living through the many explanations I have previously encountered.
There is yet, no conclusive answer to any of my time revealed questions, but I am finding nuggets of priceless wisdom, along the way!
Part 2 soon come….
Henri Almanza is a Culinary Consultant and an internationally known Interior Designer